Marijuana Treatment Prompt

Substance abuse is when the intake of drugs and or alcohol leads to negative consequences, like the inability to fulfill major life role obligations at work, school, or home. Sometimes the abuse leads to potentially hazardous situations like driving while intoxicated or taking multiple drugs together that can cause death. Substance abuse can involve legal problems. Substance abuse can also persist despite recurrent social and interpersonal problems.

Substance abuse can lead to substance dependence. Substance dependence usually involves needing to take more of the drug in order to deal with the tolerance that is gained from using. There is sometimes withdrawal from the drug, loss of control, persistent desires and unsuccessful attempts to quit, a lengthy amount of time allotted to obtaining the substance, a loss of important meaningful activities (social, occupational, recreational, etc), and continued use despite knowing of the dangers and consequences of use.

While I may have started off with substance abuse through marijuana, my personal journey took me to a place of substance dependence. I went seven years sober after my initial time being hospitalized from psychosis, partly induced by mraijuana. After gaining sobriety for seven years I was able to accomplish many things. I graduated form Portland State University with a bachelor’s of science in Arts & Letters, then went on to attain a doctorate in occupational therapy. During the last year of gaining my doctorate, I wanted to see what it would be like to start smoking marijuana again, even though I knew that it had initially helped trigger my first episode of psychosis. I remember smoking for my first time in seven years at the Native American Hot Springs Resort at Kahneeta. It immediately sent my mind to a new place, and I started hallucinating. I should have known better, and I did know better that my mind works with marijuana in ways that most others do not. I have schizophrenia and I think marijuana acts as a psychoactive drug for me. Even though I had hallucinations, I was able to keep the delusional trains of thought from really getting to a dark place, compared to when I went through psychosis. I thought I could handle my brain this second time around. While I was better able to navigate reality and not enter psychosis, eventually I started focusing on just smoking all day long. Sure, I was able to achieve my doctorate, but as time went on, my main focus of the day was just about getting high. I failed my license when I took the exam. I’m still studying to pass the exam, after 3 failed attempts. I could have been using the time I spent getting high, to learn more about my field, and to be of service to others. I was too focused on my art pursuits, and I lost balance of what it means to be well rounded and part of the sober community. I was high around my friends more than I was sober, and they often expressed that I wasn’t talking with them, but I was talking to them in a monologous state, where I only cared about my train of thought, unable to meet them where they were at. 

I was in a seven year romantic relationship with my old fiancee. She eventually got tired of me constantly smoking all day and not being productive. She warned me that she was going to leave me if I didn’t quit. Despite knowing this, I continued to use, and put my personal liberation as the main priority, rather than being empathetic to what I truly wanted in the end, love. I lost my partner of seven years to marijuana as quickly as I rediscovered it. I have marijuana dependency, because I know better. I know that a sober me is the best me.