What is it like to hear voices?

This question is complex because there are usually delusions that come along with it. Delusions being thought processes that are “fictional” or other worldly. I’m never here to tell someone they are fictional thinkers, I’m just putting fiction in quotes to signify that societal standards usually like to label these kinds of personal thoughts as those that do not fit the script of how human nature ought to operate. Going against the societal norm is another topic, perhaps for another post.

So, moving forward (or sideways rather), there are usually thoughts that accompany any hallucination sensation. Being a sensation that is passive (meaning that your ears are always open to receiving messages, as you cannot close them like you can your eyes), sound is a very powerful medium. It is intimate. It is everywhere and nowhere, making it seem godly or something alien.

When someone or something comes into your consciousness as a voice, and you have no paddle to direct your thoughts, it is as if there is an external speaker trying to reach you. What I mean by the paddle of thought is the ability to somewhat focus the inner dialogue that we are usually all capable of performing. That is to say, you can usually hear your own voice as it revolves around a predictable structure that you are somewhat in control of. Let me give you an example. You can surely hear yourself read this in front of you, yes? Well now, lets do a little exercise. I want you to stop and think about all the “Red” things in life. Do so for about 1 minute, then come back.

For me it was----

Red hearts, blood, roses, the opposite of blue, fire, love, passion, lips, apples, cherries. As you did this, all of the red things became the gravitational pull of your thoughts. There was structure. Something to keep you reminded of where to orbit. There was also in the back of your mind a sense of time, perhaps.

All of that goes out the window when you are hearing god for the first time. You are not in control of the ideas that flow through your mind. You are in the passenger seat, just observing. The yin, yielding to the voice, observing the water of the yang...without a paddle. WIthout the will to direct. You see, hearing voices is a dialogue with a free spirit, something that exists seemingly from outside of you. But. How can this be? How can something as intimate as your mind be having a separate conversation with itself. And this is where the “split-mind” of schiz-phrenia comes to be. It is the phenomenon of having two selves that go deeper than the one self we portray to others, the observable self we uphold to interact with others. Some people, including myself, who have found this complete yin or observation, perhaps can become whole if they are able to form a voice of their own. This voice, this opinion, this expression of will, this volitional therapeutic endeavor, becomes the paddle to the shadowy side that we all must face. In the depths of listening to the darkness of someone that exists as more intimately you than you, you can find love, or at the very least, a sense of hope, a sense of purpose, and a sense being.