Sarah Goes to Hawaii

Dear Sarah,

I suppose I’ll be doing a lot of talking to myself and more importantly, our beloved Mau Mau (Kitty-kins), though I cannot imagine her English to be of audible detection; All “meows” have been coded as, “I love you,” and or “I’m hungry.”

The point of me writing you now is, well, because I want to spell out my good spirits for your return back to me, once the island has refreshed your spirits, and you are fully charged by the mana of piling ocean waves that reinvigorate and charge the electron ions in the atmosphere,

Here is my letter to be read by you in time—

……………………………………………..

Hello dearest beloved sanity met beneath my grin,

Where to begin?

Is this a particular love I am in? Truly it is, or I would be in fit, I’m sure of it.

In thinking of you, Sarah, I wonder where it all begins,

Are we both made from the same atom? Would this matter much, how it came to be, this orchestrated neural network, constellations of stars holding our memories left from afar? Would it matter when it all began or how, or does it only matter if it is true, that I love you? Does anything else really matter, concerning the matter of my heart for you??

Well then, Sarah,

I begin to wonder who it is you are,

There are clues I know, like your smile as my rose, and your sense of adventure as my thirst for which you fill me fully,

But I still wonder about who it is you are—a star, but what kind of star, still I wonder, loving every second of your beautiful encounter.

Who are you!?—is the quest I have come to uncover. Perhaps the holes of forgotten memories are still left untold -

behold, beloved memories still yet to be, as perhaps as happy as the day we met first,

A day like no other made in snow seven years ago,

it was then, for me to be in love onward,

Not fully knowing why our planets aligned for us to meet along the garden,

the way we entered into symmetry,

superimposed against each other’s wishes,

Was this my doing?---Yours?-----

Or was this less anyone’s direction, 

And more of letting go? I let go of being alone the day you arrived.

Seven years later, I am in your life-

Still dreaming,

I have a very big dream of importance to me,

It is of seven men sent searching,

for a curtain to my rebirth, I admit,

not as a prophet, but as a witness to my own imagination,

It is in this dream where a future in their arms is made certain, where their lives carry with meaning,

A promised remembrance around their neck, the story of their beginning.

They are a journey through me, and they want to dock inside of your ship,

If that makes sense?-

You know Sarah,

I don’t know what the afterlife portal even is, and I don’t admit to remembering anything of a dying me, but I do remember this dream,

These seven selves…Searching.

I may still be dreaming, systematically speaking,

And I write to the other six selves a promise that I have indeed uncovered my end of the bargain, I have found my love, a truth-

And though separated by the realms of dreams being hard to access in this waking hour, I am sending a signal to the others that it is possible to find love.

I know I love you, Sarah---because this is just a dream,

and this time I know of, flows eternally,

That this why we will not end after we perish,

Seven Searching roses made dripping in colour toward your supple silhouette-there is no fear of my death, when thinking of you,

So I stop to listen,

for a pulse to your happiness, because you are what matters beyond me,

you are real,

This is real,

I’m filled with vibrations that steer the helm of my inspiration,

Yearning to spend more time close to you,

to hug you,

to spend this life, missing from the loneliness of forgetting who I am,

To belong because of you,

I give you my hand,

I give you a hug, dearest friend til the end,

To be kissed by you,

a solar gazing moment of my fragile heart keeps a beat, gazing into your comforting warmth, 

A motherly gaze into my transformation,

I found a view in heaven, through your smile,

I am in love,

With you,

with your beauty, as my appetite for your touch, is soothed by my remembrance of your eyes,

a promise,

Why I choose to remember is uncertain, and a mystery, though I know it belongs to you,

And if it is true,

That if I land my biggest trick known to man, and indeed give rise to a child through you, then the lands of my father’s ancestry will be kept pristine, made to embrace in a humble earth, a love laid fruitful amongst lands made rich, mountains and rivers crossed in time’s path, 

This is an energy like the colour 7,

Flowing vibrant as the indigo of an acropolis cream,

Into your duty of being such beauty, you beauty queen, proximal thing,

It was your calling to be found by my desires, that I really care to listen,

Into you I will listen,

As our bond weaves an intergalactic agreement,

Seven stars of each year,

Shining down on our upward ascension, I proclaim it to the end and with all good intention!

You are the birth we now enter,

A glow of the goo,

where the desires of my quest fuse to the memories of just us, 

It is my time for you now, Sarah.

You have lit my world to come forth,

An invitation into your flame,

I have found all of my passion drawn closer in, to you, 

emotions pulling me away from my pain and into your euphoria, I feel all of my primal passions, pulse,

An arousal with the aroma of your chasm, I have found an essence and it floods me into your oasis past the point of my exhaustion— I have fallen to heaven, willing to accept, my fate at your door,

My teraform has been struck into the oblivion of tranquility, 

Deeply into your love,

You have penetrated my resistance—-flashbacks of what will be

And we are now fully together, flung into the walls of our in and outs of even knowing what this is about, back and forth between,

more than making love, more than the drenched sweat against the proliferate perfume infused and charged amongst the skin of your laughter, only audible by us,

My beloved queen,

I’m still listening,

Sarah,

You have found my floating core,

It’s wild,

All that is within you now is still loving you with all my might,

and when I bite into the apple of your tears made joyous,

We will celebrate these seven years,

As a transfer,

all of fate, my fate,

all of my fate,

that I proclaim, a passage, and a right,

To my journey as a dreamer, 

Be sent to you.

Be it as it may, oh kind one, please, dear Sarah,

Lay feast upon the innocence of my dream,

To seaward suns, walking 

Along waters wiggling,

and remember a time,

Eerily strung together by the light of our father, who shares in our love,

For now, we will rest,

Until we are called upon once more, to the beat our celestial drums,

For now,

I am fully drained of myself and I have given it all,

Walking through the darkness, gifting myself a journey in understanding you,

Sarah,

This journey with you is my peace,

throughout the cosmos, I will dream,

behind a curtain made of moon calls,

I will play,

and frolic with the wind,

A love only you know,

Sarah

~Neko Bear